I WAS SWAYING JUMPING STEPPING ARCHING PUNCHING TWIRLING TO THE SOUNDS OF BELLE AND SEBASTIAN AND 1980s DISCO MY HEAD AND THE PHOTOGRAPHS OF ROBERT MAPPLETHORPE WERE MY MIND AND THE FEELINGS OF SOMETHING LIKE MOONS IN THE WIND THE WILD, HEARING SOMETHING LOUD AND NO ONE IS SHARING THIS FEELING NEAR ME SHARING THEY ARE AND MY HEART WAS THRUMMING FLYING FEELING CRYING LAUGHING AND I REMEMBERED HOW IT IS TO CRY HARD ABOUT SOMETHING EVERY DAY TO FEEL SO MUCH AND MY EARS HURT MY ARMS ACHED IF YOU ALLOW YOU TO FEEL I DONT EVEN STRUGGLE AGAINST THE SADNESS IF THERES SOME MY HEART IS HAPPY CRACK I WAS FEELING LIGHT AND HEAVY AT THE SAME CRACK TIME SWAYING SLOWER AS THE SONG CHANGED FASTER AS THE SONG CHANGED GOING AS I GO
closed eyes sang LOUD my mind was tearing no seams free to tear hopped left right to the sky and back flying through the buildings of my city alone in the closeness a stranger stood close to me and i didn’t know them but they looked like somebody i had seen we had run into each other another day another week everyone i’ve seen everyone i know...and i talked to some and they talked to me and i lingered on their eyes at once my heart soared in nerve...
i saw birds and long coats, deep hard yellow lights in the evening on a tramway, i was swaying jumping stepping arching punching twirling and i was dancing, i was lifting myself into whereabouts, heard myself swallow and forgot the time and my dinner had been hours ago the night was the lamp of my light of my room too warm and too tired